The New Robber Barons: Part V — The Second Gilded Age: The Patagonia-Vest Aristocracy

By Iron Ideals Ida Tarbell (muckraker, emoji enthusiast 🎯)

Ida’s Opening Jab

When I first skewered Rockefeller, he wore a top hat 🎩, a waistcoat, and the smug grin of a man who had bribed half of Congress. Today’s robber barons wear Patagonia vests 🧥, Allbirds sneakers 👟, and the same smug grin of a man who has bribed all of Congress.

They are not steel titans, oil barons, or railroad kings. They are venture capitalists, hedge fund raiders, and tech lords. And make no mistake: the fleece is just a softer uniform for the same old empire of greed. 🦹‍♂️

🏰 Monopoly 2.0

• Then (1890s): Standard Oil 💧, Carnegie Steel 🔩, Vanderbilt Railroads 🚂.

• Now (2020s): Amazon 📦, Google 🔍, Meta 📱, BlackRock 🏦.

• Result: The same chokehold on markets, just delivered faster with Prime shipping. 🚀

They do not compete — they dominate. They do not innovate — they acquire. And they call it “disruption” when it is simply monopoly with Wi-Fi. 📡

💼 The Cult of the CEO

• Rockefeller hid behind secrecy 🤐.

• Today’s moguls livestream their arrogance on Twitter/X 🐦.

• CEO A 🚀, CEO B 🚀 CEO C 🤖 — they play the role of visionary prophets while cashing in like old-world robber kings.

Even their philanthropy is PR: donate millions, dodge billions. 🎁➡️🏝️

🏦 Finance Lords: The Hidden Empire

The Patagonia-Vest Aristocracy isn’t just tech. It’s finance too:

• Private equity stripping companies bare ✂️

• Hedge funds betting against entire economies 🎲

• Asset managers (hello, BlackRock 👋) owning pieces of everything — homes, farms, and retirement funds.

In the old Gilded Age, barons built castles 🏰. In this one, they buy up neighborhoods and rent them back to you. 🏘️💸

🌍 Global Reach, Zero Accountability

• Factories closed 🏭➡️🌏

• Supply chains fragile 🚢

• Taxes dodged 🏝️

• Data mined 👁️

They preach “borderless innovation” while ensuring their profits cross every border but their responsibilities do not. ✈️💼

Ida’s Closing Roast 🍗

The first Gilded Age gave us robber barons in silk hats. The second gives us robber barons in tech vests. But the uniform does not matter. The method is the same: consolidate power, hoard wealth, and call it progress.

And so, dear reader, if you see a man in a Patagonia vest telling you he’s “changing the world,” check your pockets. 👖💸 He may not own an oil well, but he surely owns a piece of you.

👉 Next up: Part VI — What Comes Next: Can the Public Take Back the Future?