🏛️ “Of Corporations and Contributions”

By Pissed off Preacher Tom! (Writer of Declarations, Hater of Debt, Ghostly Meme Farmer)

My Fellow Americans,

’Tis I, Thomas Jefferson — author of your favorite breakup letter to King George, inventor of swivel chairs, and reluctant cameo on your nickel. 🪙 Today I enter the world from the divine to declare that the true tyranny over the American farmer is not British tea, but corporate tax dodging. 🍵💸

📊 Corporations Then vs Now Tax (as % of GDP)

• 1960s:

  • Corporate income taxes: 5–6% of GDP

  • Employer payroll taxes: ~2% of GDP

  • Total: 7–8% of GDP

• Today (2025):

  • Corporate income taxes: ~1.3% of GDP

  • Employer payroll taxes: ~3% of GDP

  • Total: ~4.3% of GDP

⚖️ The Jeffersonian Judgment

In my day, I warned against “monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government.” Now I see they’ve not only challenged the republic — they’ve won.

• In the 1960s, corporations paid their fair tithe to the nation — enough to fund highways 🛣️, moon landings 🚀, and a middle class that could afford houses with shag carpet.

• Today, corporations pay half as much (relative to GDP), while workers cough up more payroll taxes than ever. The laborer is yoked, while the shareholder feasts. 🐂🍽️

🥸 What Changed?

• Tax cuts (80''s 00's 16'): Corporations cut deals, citizens cut coupons.

• Globalization: Profits sailed to Ireland faster than Lewis and Clark down the Missouri.

• Buybacks: The corporate motto shifted from “grow the republic” to “inflate the stock ticker.” 📈

🔮 Jefferson’s Ghostly Warning

My quarrel was once with the Crown. Today, it is with the corporate boardroom. For a republic that lets corporations halve their duty while workers double theirs is not self-governed, but self-plundered.

If corporations can be “persons” in the law, then let them also be taxpayers in full. Else we shall discover what I always feared — that the aristocracy of money is more dangerous than the aristocracy of birth.

📜 Final Word

So let it be inscribed in the ledger of history:

• Corporations in the 1960s paid their way.

• Corporations today pay half as much.

• The American worker is left carrying the republic on his back like Atlas, but without the gym membership. 🏋️‍♂️

And if we do not rebalance this equation, the next Declaration may not be of Independence… but of Foreclosure 🏠🔨 or Revolution👨‍🎤

Yours in eternal side-eye,

Pissed off Preacher Tom 👻