Late Sage Capitalism & Holy Dolla Markets

💵 Late Sage Capitalism

God gave Adam and Eve & Steve a choice in the Garden, and brothers and sisters, capitalism is the economic system of CHOICE & Cooperation! You can choose your job, your coffee shop, your favorite brand of organic yoni egg yogurt—wow what freedom, hallelujah! The Lord smiles on you and your dominion over your wallet!

Now the Communist with goat legs, he don’t like none freedom. No sir! Now Comrade goat legs comes in a red hat and a grey uniform, selling you dreams of equality—but what he really means is equally broke, equally miserable, and equally waiting in line for toilet paper! That’s right, I said it: the Half Man Half Goat is a central planner, and he don’t believe in incentives!

Oh, they’ll charm you, folks. “Free housing!” they say. “Free education!” they whisper. But what they don’t tell you is that when everything’s free, YOU are the product! That’s right! You go from a hardworking entrepreneur to a cog in the state’s divine washing machine. While Goat Mans only goal is how to keep the public from assassinating him.

Faith Capitalism says, "Work hard, reap the fruits of thy labor!"
Supreme Communism says, "Work hard, and the fruits go to Karen from Central Supply."

Can I get a witness?!

💔 The Problem Ain’t Capitalism—It’s the Greedy Apostates!

Now listen, even the righteous system can be twisted by wicked hands. We got hedge fund pharaohs and CEO Judas-types keeping all the silver for themselves. They forgot the Word of the Market: blessed are the job creators, but even more blessed are the job sustainers, the wage growers, and the benefit givers!

Capitalism works best when it walks hand in hand with justice, fairness, and a payroll department that don’t leave folks stranded in Egypt without a 401(k)!

🙏 Restore the Sacred Balance of Profit and Purpose

Let us not throw away capitalism like last year’s smartphone. Let us REDEEM it! Let us preach the holy trinity of:

1. Lowering National Debt (1% Per Year )

2. Shared Profits

3. Fair Wages

4. Worker Dignity

Yes, the market is divine, but it needs a little High Human Yield accounting! We need CEOs who tithe back to their workers! We need companies that honor the Sabbath by letting their employees go home at 5! Amen? Employee Ownership

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The Gospel Truth

In unequal hands Capitalism can be villain. But Communism is simply Despotic Slavery. Sisters and Brothers. It’s not capitalism that’s failed—it’s capitalism without a conscience that leaves people behind. And that ain’t faith, that’s a hustle.

So rise up, saints of the supply chain!
Defend your right to innovate!
Invest with compassion!
And remember: a rising tide lifts all boats, but only if the dock ain’t chained shut by the devil of greed!

Now go forth, beloved consumers and creators, and preach the Good News of Balanced Capitalism, where everyone gets a slice of the prosperity pie and nobody has to pray for a paycheck!

Amen, and pass the dividends!