Citizenship Has Dues — And They’re Called Mortgages

By Peeved Pope John 35 (👻🇺🇸 Still Irish, Eternally Handsome)

My fellow Americans 🇺🇸—

You think we are citizens because we’ve got a passport 🛂, a driver’s license 🚘, and an Instagram account 📱 with the flag in the bio 🏳️?

❌ Wrong.

We are not truly citizens until we all own a piece of America 🏡🪧. Until our names are carved onto deeds 📜✍️ like the Founding Fathers carved theirs onto the Declaration 🖋️

If we’re paying rent 💸, we are not full citizens. We are tenant-serfs 🧑‍🌾, visitor guest passes 🎟️, plus-ones at the party 🎉 of capitalism 💰.

👉 Citizens sign deeds 📝.

👉 Serfs sign leases 📄.

We the people are not Disposable 🗑️

Let me give you the numbers 🔢:

• 🏡 Homeownership rate: ~65% → 1 in 3 Americans = renters (modern peasants 🧹).

• 💰 Median homeowner net worth: $396,200 vs. renter: $10,400 → That’s a canyon 🏔️, not a gap.

• 📈 Over 30 years, homeowners captured nearly all middle-class wealth growth 📊. Renters? Just rent hikes 📬 and maybe a new microwave 🍲.

• 🏦 90% of America’s richest households 💎 own homes. Bottom 20%? Mostly renters. That’s feudalism 👑 with Wi-Fi 📶.

  But let me be clear — this is not the renter’s fault ❌.

  • Wages haven’t kept up with housing costs 💵📉.

  • Wall Street scooped up single-family homes 🦈🏚️.

  • Starter homes stopped being built 🛠️.

  We didn’t fail the system — the system failed us.

  When we rent, we’re treated as disposable — like Red Solo Cups 🥤 at a frat party 🎓. Used, drained, tossed.

  We are economic mules 🫏 hauling equity for slumlords.

Why It Matters ⚖️

Homeownership isn’t just shelter 🏠. It’s citizenship in the asset class 💳.

Without it, we’re paying tribute 💸💸💸 to the landlord’s kingdom 🏰, keeping their families in yachts 🚤 while we pray 🙏 the rent doesn’t spike another $500 💵.

And why is buying a home harder than buying a car? 🚗

• A car: walk into a dealership, credit check, drive away in 2 hours.

• A house: 6 months, 12 signatures, a lawyer, a priest, and a blood sacrifice 🩸.

Yes, a car isn’t tied to land — but that doesn’t excuse the absurdity.

It shouldn’t be harder to buy a bungalow than a Buick.

Ask Not… 🎤

So I say to you today:

Ask not what your landlord can do for you 🙅‍♂️ — ask why we’re still paying his mortgage 🤑.

Let’s refine the system so homes are as easy to purchase as cars 🚗.

Let’s make ownership the norm, not the exception.

Let’s build a republic of homeowners 🏠🇺🇸.

Until then, we are only renters in Camelot 🏰… and trust me — Camelot wasn’t built on month-to-month leases 📅.